I KNOW you are in pain right now. I have been there. TWICE, with the same freekin guy. Words cannot even begin to describe the ache in the heart of now unrequited love, the obsessive/ruminating thoughts, the conversations you have with him in your head, the sleepless nights, the lack of appetite/or over eating, the huge desire to just find out WTF HAPPENED????? Could I have done something different?
And then the plaguing thought…Why Doesn’t He Love Me???
Well I developed this site a while back, when I got dumped, OUT OF THE BLUE, mind you. It took a long time to get over him, but I was trying. I searched all over the internet and bookstores for “How To Get Over Your Ex-Boyfriend” and I found some programs that helped. But as I started to heal myself, and NOT act desperate to get him back, all of the sudden—> He wanted me back!! Figures, with a capital F.
I should have just gloated, but I hadn’t done the deep inner work yet. I didn’t know how to. I didn’t realize I was being sucked into his confusion. Him wanting me back, wasn’t real. Instead I let my heart (and the incredible passionate wacka-wacka) do the deciding. Needless to say, after regaining my TRUST, HE DID IT AGAIN!!!!! Quicker than the last time. Like I was literally a bag of garbage he threw away. It was almost comical at how fast he discarded me. At least the first time I heard him cry over the phone. (What kind of man, dumps his once love over the phone, anyway?) But the second time, I felt like his dumping phone call to me, was part of his TO DO LIST. “Get Rid of her again…9pm. Check.”
“Oh My God!” I thought. “I am BACK to EFFIN SQUARE ONE, and I feel like such a LOSER.” He’s my boyfriend, and then in an instant, he’s my EX boyfriend AGAIN! I felt the room spin, felt like barfing, couldn’t sleep, woke up in shock when I did sleep, like I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (from him continually dumping me!) But over the next few days even though I felt like the rug was pulled out from underneath my feet, which it was, I knew deep down that his callous treatment of me, was NOT because I’m a piece of Sh*t. I just wasn’t going to let my mind go there.
And I DO NOT want your mind to go there either. BECAUSE IT IS A LIE.
Hopefully there will be words on this website that will give you comfort. But I am hoping right now, that if you feel like jumping off a balcony right now, (like I did), PLEASE KNOW it WILL GET SUBSTANTIALLY BETTER. And you will, in time, see why this was all meant to be. You were meant for someone better suited for you.
Read: Someone That Will Not Break Your HEART Into A Million Pieces. The right one will come along, that will mend your heart, and you, his 🙂
Here’s To Your Forth-Coming Happiness Hot Chica. I lift a glass to you…Cheers! I will survive!! You will survive!! Much love xoxo