I PAINFULLY KNOW THAT MOMENT. I have been there. I have called, and my Ex was totally indifferent and sounded annoyed I called. Ugh. All my progress. And I blew it.
OK, if you are in this position —> here’s what you need to do.
1. STOP analyzing the whole conversation. It was a mistake for calling . Hopefully it didn’t go TOO bad, but even if it did…
2. STOP judging yourself. You felt a great pull to contact him. It probably felt painful at the moment if you WOULDN’T have contacted him. So forgive yourself, and realize you were just trying to do what you felt was right in the moment. There are always new moments.
3. START AGAIN. Today is Day 1 of No Contact. And it might be a long day for you. That is OK. Then tomorrow is Day 2. And then so on. All the conversations you want to have with him, well please have them in your head, journal, talk to a friend. Do not attempt to contact him to have these conversations. I’ve had tons of outloud conversations with my Ex in the car, in my living room, etc….but just to myself. Yes, a little psychotic. But this technique will massively save face in the end.
4. If he contacts you, don’t you DARE rush to call or email him back right away. Think about it for a while. Take your time. Make him think you are out doing much more important things. It is up to you when , if , how, when you want to call or email him a response. Be in the driver’s seat, because right now, you are! In the end, the most important thing is to not contact him first. Because if he acts annoyed that you are contacting him, or ignores you, or worse – thinks you are subtly stalking him – it’s an UGLY PLACE TO BE IN. And it is NOT fair because HE put you in that place, which is what really sucks. Either way, for your OWN DIGNITY – do NOT contact him. Sometimes business matters need to be attended to, but don’t rationalize that either. Keep it short and simple – if you HAVE to communicate with him. Don’t dote over him….please!
5. FORGIVE YOURSELF for ANY CHASING YOU HAVE DONE. That is NORMAL. But TODAY do something different – LIVE YOUR LIFE, and DO NOT CONTACT HIM. Each day will get consecutively better, as you RESPECT YOURSELF, SISTER. 🙂 xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
***Sorry I missed a comment a long time ago, that asked something along the lines of – what if you do actually want to work it out with your Ex-? I feel your pain. I think this website is more for those of you out there that know in their heart, this person does NOT deserve you because they threw you away. If you did something wrong, & you are trying to earn back their trust, or whatever many reasons it could be that you are both not together at this time…then I would think there would be other websites or advice or maybe some books that could help you navigate your hopeful reconciliation.***